2017 Reboot...ALREADY

By Thursday of this week (January 5th), I was already overwhelmed.  I told my sister I would embark on a health/fitness challenge with her for the New Year, and I basically fell off that wagon by the evening of Day 1.  My college freshman daughter and I could not seem to have a civil conversation (I ask too many annoying questions), I barely spent two hours with my teenage son on his birthday (because he is 17 and has a busy social calendar), my hubby was being cynical, work was frustrating, and I HAD HAD ENOUGH. One of my favorite phrases in the Bible kept coming to mind, and I began to plot my escape.

"He leads me beside still waters,
3     He restores my soul." (Psalm 23:2b-3a)

I don't know if I am part Labrador or what, but I have ALWAYS loved the water. Give me a pool, a shower, or the Gulf, and I will be content.  I knew if I could just get to a body of water (and NOT the pool in the backyard, because Lord help me, my people would still be within calling distance), I could read His word, share my hurts, and just soak up His presence.  I was actually planning to leave a note, but then I decided to ask the hubs his plans for Saturday.  He said he would be home, so I told him I would be leaving for a few hours. This announcement met with some grumbling, but I said I needed some alone time. He asked if I was going shopping, and I just looked at him in disbelief.  I don't think he understood, but I didn't want ANY people within my vicinity for a minimum of two hours.

So, before anyone woke up yesterday morning (and I think their added slumber was God's provision because I really didn't want to talk to any of these yokels), I took my shower, put on two layers of clothes, loaded up my Bible, my journal, and a blanket and hit the road.  During the drive to a nearby lake, I felt almost anxious.  I knew I had been struggling with a regular quiet time for about three months, and I felt distant.  I knew I needed my "soul restored" as the verse says, and I just couldn't wait.  I had decided to visit Caddo Lake because it was the closest, but hadn't given much thought to anything beyond that.  As I drove around the winding roads seeking a quiet spot where I could park the car, I found myself in Uncertain, TX.  Yes, it is a real place, and so appropriate for how I was feeling.

For about an hour and a half, I sat in the empty parking lot of a restaurant, and looked at that lake. I read my two reading plans on the Bible app, and I took notes. I read some of my favorite passages in the Bible, and wrote those down.  I used up nine pages of my journal as I prayed and read; and as I cried, I watched those still waters.  I saw a lady arrive for her shift at the restaurant, and as she struggled to make it up the stairs to the kitchen, I prayed for her.  And I felt it...His PEACE and His PRESENCE.  

I don't really know that I have a point in sharing this, other than to say, sometimes we just need to GET AWAY.  We need time with just Jesus, and when we have taken that time, we are so much better equipped for real life.  I came back yesterday and I was ready to face Wal-Mart. AT NOON ON A SATURDAY.  Now, that is divine inspiration, my friends.  I had pleasant conversations with my loved ones. Church this morning felt different...it felt like it is supposed to feel, like genuine worship.  A feeling I had been missing in recent weeks.  I called my sister to recommit to our challenge because it is something I truly want to do.  I explained, and she said, "I get it."  Sometimes, you just need to hear those words so you don't feel like a crazy woman.

I found this verse during my mini-retreat yesterday.  It so perfectly described my feelings:

"YOU, God, are my God, earnestly I seek YOU; I thirst for YOU, my whole being longs for YOU in a dry and parched land where there is no water." (Psalm 63:1)

I am so thankful that when we truly seek Him, He is always waiting. He listens, He comforts, and HE LOVES.  What a Savior.