Grief is Different: Surgery

 0/10 recommend having surgery after losing your mother. Not only was the actual hospital experience traumatic because of memories related to the EKG, IV, and even the hospital gown, but the recovery is different, too.  As great of a caregiver as Marcus is, there really is no concern like that from your mother. Nothing is the same.

Grief is Hard: First Easter

I came over this morning to water flowers for my daddy since he is out of town with my aunts and uncles. Walking into their empty house almost broke me. I miss my mama every day and every time I walk in here, but being here alone somehow made the loss seem even more profound. Because I needed to pick up the rest of the family for church, I did not stay long. This afternoon though, I told the hubby I felt like I needed to just come sit in her chair and have a good cry. So that is what I have done tonight…cried, listened to praise music, pulled out her Bible and read the passages that she missed at church this morning, and then cried some more. I am not sure how Heaven celebrates the Resurrection, but I am sure it is so much better than some candy and an egg hunt. She has probably been at the feet of Jesus, so I cannot begrudge her that, but oh, how I miss her. Welcoming tears, sitting in grief, even in the midst of what is the biggest celebration…this is my first Easter without a mama.