Friday, January 24, 2014

Finish strong?

Day 24 of my "7" food fast.  Let's face it:  I have very little self control.  I have avoided some of my biggies (still no cheese or bread), but I have eaten 2 or 3 granola bars in the last week, 3 cookies, some sour straws (courtesy of the 3-year-old), most of a bag of cherry sours, and some goldfish crackers.  Oh, and oranges, but only because I ran out of apples on a couple of days, and needed something sweet.  Do you hear me trying to rationalize AGAIN?  Anyway, I am hoping I will be able to finish strong over this last week.
Some things I am learning about myself during this process:
1-I typically think about food far too much, and not nearly enough about the hunger of others.
2-I now question the sensitivity of Facebook posts about food.  I do not want to judge, but it seems a little insensitive to post pictures and recipes of delicious (and sometimes gluttonous) entrees/desserts.  I am choosing to do this "fast", so I try to just ignore the posts, but can those posts be edifying for someone who really struggles with eating or even an eating disorder?  I don't know if this would have even crossed my mind had I not started this experiment.  I post recipes on my Pinterest boards, but I almost feel that is different because I consider it a sort of online storage box.  I am not really posting for others to see there, but more for me to be able to find something later.  Maybe it is the same though.  What do you think?
3-I can rationalize any food in a moment of weakness, and instead of taking the time to pray about it, I impulsively stuff my face.  This does not reflect well on my faith.  Each time this has happened, I have been reminded of Denis (see earlier post), yet, I have still been able to rationalize by saying, "This is voluntary, not required.  You are still pretty much following the "fast", so how is this one _____ going to really affect the "fast"?"  Grr...
4-I think I would do better if someone else was doing this with me.  Accountability always helps!  I don't think I will struggle as much in the upcoming months, but we shall see.  This one has been tough!

Lord, please be my strength in weakness.  Remind me of my purpose in You, not just in this experience, but in daily life.

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